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July 4, 2008

Posted by ash in Uncategorized.

I deserve a pat on the shoulder for my work this week. (Actually, I need a good massage for my aching shoulders)

It’s been a week since the drama unfolded last Saturday. What with the betrayal, the crying, the cruel realisation, the so called closure and the heartache. Add apprehension (in a new job) on top of that, a 1-day business trip to Vietnam and continuous work hours, and you have me on the brink of collapse.

That is not to say that there were no positive things. In this very week, I also had (1) the support of good friends (2) some funny moments with a nice (but demanding and occasionally scary) boss (3) delicious authentic Phở, spring rolls and a very nice hotel room.

In all, it was a very eventful 7-day course.

It’s difficult not to feel upset and lonely during this period. I took advantage of the bathtub in the hotel by taking a long hot bath to calm the senses. Maybe listening to the sex and the city OST wasn’t a very good idea…but at least I didn’t cry. Because I just started my job, there wasn’t a need for me to lug the laptop along yet so I had some time at night. Watching the match between Zheng Jie and Serena Williams took my mind off things. By the time the match was suspended the second time due to rain, I was already too tired to continue, I just slumped into bed. (It was very comfortable really) Sleep was again quite fitful, just like it was for the past few days, but I guess there is nothing much I can do about it.

Well technically speaking, retail therapy may improve my sleeping conditions at night. Can I say in my next job interview that one of my strengths is that I know how to make use of retail therapy? Along the 15 minute walk back to office from the shop where I had the Phở , I bought a painted wooden block with a picture of TinTin and snowy from The Blue Lotus. I am extremely pleased with it. I picked the one with the best color out of all the sub quality ones. It was only 10 USD. Now I have something to hang on my wall.

There is also a new song on my playlist. Now I don’t have to repeat “I will survive” 20 times. I can split it up into 10-10. The song is  “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morisette. Listening to this song when you were 15 years old and listening to it again more than a decade later gives you a totally different feeling indeed. The lyrics are so appropriate I want to call Alanis and thank her for writing the song.

I saw that the jerk changed his MSN tagline to “bastard-coated bastard with bastard filling”. I applaud his attempt to try and act cute. Frivolously admitting to being a bastard does not make you any less bastardy (if there is such a word). I realised that he never once said to me that he is sorry.

Again, all these do not matter anymore.

I need to stop being weak and start executing my plan to live better.



1. SePPiE - July 5, 2008

Yay! Glad you have pulled yourself together babe..you sound much more positive now. *Double pats and triple hugs* not bad that you getta travel eventho you’re a newbie in the company..am sure this is the start of better things coming along your way 🙂 btw, the ‘introduction of decent male candidates’ offer still stands heh heh 😛

2. ash - July 5, 2008

sigh. I won’t deny the “missing him” part, but I know I gotta move on and am trying. Just hope no more fucked up things happen. Yes, I am eager to participate in the “intro of decent male candidates” scheme. LOL

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