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December 1, 2007

Posted by ash in about Memories & Reflections.

Today I finally had time to sit down and visit the Radiohead website proper.

My apologies to the Sembawang people for being an ass, LOL. I bought the songs off the website already so I am not complaining anymore.

This week I have been a sick and naughty girl. Sick as the word explains, means really sick, ie. coughing and having a flu. I have been working hard although my mind is hardly there most of the time. I was regretting on the wicked lies I have told this week. It’s the kind of “I shouldn’t have lied but if I don’t, things can’t be done” kind of fib so I justified my actions just like that.

I would rather be in Sendai where the first snowflakes have fallen. I forgot the feel of winter and it’s sad. What was I doing at this time last year? Walking in the snow to my teacher’s place every monday to prepare for JLPT, thinking what I should buy for Christmas, buying another scarf which I would not use and admiring all the pretty boots the ladies on the streets are wearing. Waking up to find snow everywhere and complaining about the bus moving too slowly…Another year more and Sendai would be history, all these memories would fade and I would be the average Singaporean again. Why am I resisting? This Christmas is depressing.

I am trying to move forward, I am trying to tell myself I can do it, I must do it, I must stand up again. I try to do my best for work but my heart is not there. I try to be a woman, but my heart is not really in it either. I am confused, totally.



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